Hostage Negotiations


My first inkling of becoming a hostage negotiator should have happened back in the day of getting my first baby to poop.  Remember those days, if you go poop you can have fill in the blank.  Can’t say I miss those days a bunch but the negotiations keep on happening…the things being negotiated however seem to get larger and more time-consuming.

My first clue that I would be in negotiations Summit style was this morning when the queen commented on how much she enjoys smelling the warmness in the air on mornings like this.  I was a little too busy to smell the warmness because I was in a hurry for her to get in and buckle up because we were running late.  Running late today is a little ironic with it being late start Wednesday but because it was; they scheduled an 8:15 meeting for all parents of 5th graders attending camp.

So, after racing to school, attending a meeting, completing my weekly volunteer time with the copy machine, having a great lunch with super moms, doing a little house work, figuring out the pick up line in order to pick up the queen, and then racing to the dentist the negotiations started.

Warm air mean being outside.  Being a mom I am happy for that time to play outside but it sure puts a damper on dinner plans and anything else that might need to be accomplished after the first toe hits the garage floor.  As some know, I can be anal (on my best days) about schedules and menus.

Now that the kids are older and we are in a neighborhood chuck full of kiddos, getting my kids back in the house is a major undertaking.  Sometimes I think the neighbors lay in wait for me to start the craziness and then kind of fill in as they can or hide behind the bushes to watch the whole show play out.  The script goes kind of like this:

Me:  It’s time to come in

Any of the three:  Why?

Me:  Because it is 7 p.m. or dinner is ready or I need to pick up the teen.

Any of the three:  You really want us to come in right now?

Me:  Yep, now would be the time.

Any of the three and possibly another small child:  They/I don’t have to go in yet.

Me:  That’s nice but the people in my house need to come home now.

Any of the three:  This is so not fair (my husband’s very favorite of all child expressions).

Me:  Yep, life’s not fair.  Just wait until you have to pay taxes on a house that is over assessed by $100,000.

So, on goes this dialogue from now until mid-October.

About amyp22

I am a retired school teacher and a stay at home mom who moves a lot for my husband's job. I have three children who keep me entertained every day. They are 14, 11, and just turned 7.

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