Monthly Archives: June 2012

Mom’s Got Game


As anyone who is a parent knows, getting a child to eat fruits and vegetables can become an all out battle every day, every meal.

Here is a conversation that took place at our house recently:

Queen:  Is that zucchini you are putting in the Crockpot?

Me:  Yes, it is.

Queen:  You do realize I’m allergic to zucchini?

Me:  Really?  Since when?

Queen:  Yep, the dentist told me at my last checkup.  Turns my teeth green.

Me.  That’s interesting because the dentist nor assistant shared this bit of info with me.

Queen:  Well, it’s the truth.

Fast forward a few days.  Just the queen and I are running errands and I just happen to have a check that needs to be dropped off at the dentist office.  Sure I could have mailed it but I really wanted to hit home on this whole zucchini business.

Me:  Hi Receptionist how are you today?

Receptionist:  Doing great!  What brings you all by the office today?

Me:  Thought I would drop off a payment and discuss the Queen’s allergies.

Receptionist:  Queen’s allergies (she is pulling up charts and skimming the screen)?

Me:  Yeah, seems the dentist told the queen she is allergic to zucchini and it will turn her teeth green.

Cue crickets chirping

Receptionist:  That’s crazy!  If anything I would think the dentist would say to eat zucchini.

Queen:  Yeah, it sounded good to me on the day my mom was fixing it.

Receptionist:  So, you thought it a good idea to use the dentist as a scapegoat?

Queen:  Yep and it still sounds like a great idea.

Receptionist:  It would be a good idea to eat more vegetables because it will make your teeth stronger.

Queen:  I still don’t like zucchini.

Receptionist:  See you in September!

Oh yeah, I’m feeling pretty good about this parenting moment.


Who Knew?


Who knew I had a little inner freak out mom in me?  I sure didn’t but today realized we all do it just rears its head at different times and in different degrees.

In the past, my mom friends usually all have children the queen’s age or younger.  Our most recent move has put me into a circle of moms whose children are more in the teen and tween’s age range which is super cool and gives the boys guys to hang out with and me parents that I have gotten to meet. Please note that I said “hang out” with and not “play” with.  The teen has let me know that people of his age and sophistication no longer play together they hang out.

I have a censorship issue with video games, movies, and books.  I believe that games and movies have a rating system and if your age does not meet that rating then you do not get to see the movie or play the game.  If you get to watch PG13 movies when you are 10, what do have to look forward to when you are 13?  The boys really get put out with me on this but we once had a neighbor who thought it was okay for my then 5-year-old son to watch her husband and son (who was also 5) play Grand Theft Auto.

I found out at breakfast today that the teen was at a friend’s house and they were figuring out what video game to play when a mom overheard the teen say, “My mom wouldn’t allow me to play this game at our house.”  It was great to hear that all those lectures on video games and what we can’t play at home we can’t play at others finally made its way into his brain.  Now the mom is trying to figure out what video game it was.  She assures she didn’t think they had any bad games at her house.  I hope I reassured her that they may not be bad they just may not fit the age rating for what I’ve told the boys was okay to play.  I truly believe every parent has to decide this on his/her own and base it on the child he/she has.

The tween started theater camp this afternoon which is being held at a massive high school.  I worked in a rather large high school so when I say a facility is massive I’m really not exaggerating.  As the mom who just turned 40 and has two kiddos transitioning to middle and high school this year, I’m having a little difficulty saying get out there…see if you get hit by a bus.

Normally, I would just drop at the turn around and give a see you later but I could tell by the tween’s face he had a little anxiety about entering the building.  I suggested we park the car and walk together to the auditorium and when I wasn’t refused this I knew were on the same page.  A high schooler met us at the door along with a few other classmates of the tween and with as little fanfare as possible said, “You can pick him up in the turn around or come inside.  It doesn’t really matter.”  And here is the sad jab to the heart part, she simply turned around and said let’s go guys.  In guys, she wasn’t including any of us moms just the kids.  Today, I really could have used a pat on the arm and a we will take good care of him but just got the back of him and some other young ones marching off to take on a new challenge.

Did I think I was a helicopter mom?  No, not in the least.  But after today, anything is possible.  Guess it is time for me to slip on the big mama panties and get used to the transitions my kids are making.

Hey Mom, Mom, Mom, Hey Mom


Well, we have almost wrapped up the second week of summer vacation.  Can you say, “Roll that yellow bus?”  I know all my former teacher friends are freaking out about that but I felt the same way about summer vacation when I was a teacher.  My kids crave routine and 11 weeks of unstructured time just drives us all up the wall.

The teen has basketball conditioning three days a week starting at 6 a.m.  I can assure you this is cruel and unusual punishment.  To help make him more independent; I have been having him set his own alarm and he has to get me up to take him.  (We’ve only missed one, I think we are headed in the right direction.)  However, I get the wake up call at 5:15 that goes like this, ” Hey Mom, Mom, hey Mom, are you up?  It’s 5:30.”  First of all, the boy is going into the 9th grade, you would think he could tell time on both digital and traditional clocks.  Secondly, just mom, would be okay.  I promise I am not exaggerating when I say he always adds a hey in front of the mom all day long…even if I am standing right next to him.

The queen is back under my feet and that is taking some getting used.  She is behind me when I’m cleaning, to the side of the cart when I’m shopping, and standing at my elbow when I’m on the phone.  And, my husband wonders why he frequently finds me sitting in my car that is parked in the garage.

Not really sure why I try to clean in the summer.  It is a useless task to begin with and then you add the kids home all day and there is no telling what was cleaned before I started.  Just the other day, I had spent a good half hour cleaning up the sink, had just turned around to wipe down the counter when I spot the queen dumping her chocolate milk down the drain.  Not really dumping per say but making a nice circular design with it.  She was quite happy with her chocolate milk Picasso.  Me, not so much.

On top of the everyday craziness, I thought I would get a head start on back to school stuff and get the teen and tween physicals during the first week of break.  This was all working out great until the teen got two of the inoculations scheduled for the tween (one of which he also needed).  Just a heads up to all my mommy friends, do NOT schedule visits together if you are expecting shots for more than one child.  Lucky for the teen, he isn’t afraid to speak up or he would have ended up with a tDap too.  He is good to go on shots for a very long time.  Doctors’ offices have a lot to say when they mess up and give vaccinations to the wrong child.  The CDC has been checked and the teen won’t suffer, become ill, or grow a second head but it is kind of scary when it happens.

Hey Mom, Mom, I can’t wait for you to keep the teen, the tween, and the queen this summer!  It will be a nice respite.  Nothing says Hilton like Grandma’s.


Promise it is Going to Go Down Like This


There are some things in our house that are guaranteed to happen regardless of how much you try to make them not:

  • There will be at least one screaming fit after my husband leaves for work.  This is usually the queen screaming and the teen who did something that caused the screaming to happen.  You would think that the 14 yo would do anything possible to stay away from a crazy 7 yo but not the case here.
  • After asking the teen to take out the trash, there will be a deep sigh and a “Really, right now?  Why is it me that has to take out the trash?”  It might be because I’m the personal alarm clock, cook, dishwasher, taxi cab driver, errand runner, and general valet.  However, I should probably not explain that to him and just pretend I don’t hear the grumbling.
  • The queen will not have on matching socks.  It is a good thing the trend is mismatched socks because hers never match.  Plus, she believes that socks are made for one time only wear.  Not kidding folks.  There must be 50 million socks out there somewhere looking for the washing machine.
  • The end of the school year means weird things are coming home in the backpack.  I am considering just throwing away everything left in the queen’s backpack and the pack itself.  So far, I have unearthed a tiara, one sock, a shirt, a scroll, a smashed up Twinkie, lots of crumbled up pieces of paper that we just have to keep, and strange fuchsia colored  chunks keep surfacing.  There are still some books and things in there but I really don’t want to stick my hand down there any further and she has one more day to go!
  • All three will have to ask each night at least three times each what we are having for dinner.  The tween gets a little put out when I explain it has been announced twice before and he will have to do some research to figure out the answer on his own since he was in the area for the last two declarations.  Now that I have a family that can all read I better start using the Amy Knapp Family Organizer a little more–this way they can stop asking–like that will stop them!
  • When our house or car is at its dirtiest we will have a surprise guest or extra passenger.  My most recent passenger let me know how dirty my car was.  I think this goes along with the always wear clean underwear because you never know when you might be in an accident.  Guess who will soon be playing let’s see what we can find in the car game?