I am the Mother of a Teenage Boy

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At some point, that little bitty bundle of joy grows up and begins to prepare for the entrance to high school.  I know, some of you have one of those itty bitty bundles right now and can’t imagine this day will ever come.  But, I promise the day will come, when diapers are a thing of the past.  Sippy cups are unheard of.  Sleepless nights only come from drinking too much leaded Diet Coke past 4 p.m.  And, major melt down fits only occur when dinner is an eat it if you can reach it night rather than a traditional home cooked meal.

This I know to be true, no mom should have to turn 40 and her teen be going to high school the same year.  Something crazy happens to moms who are suddenly 40 and it doesn’t work well for this transition to high school.

As we are preparing for the stroll through those big doors, I have come to the conclusion that there are some things that could make this a better transition.  My idea is to get rid of the teenage girls.  I’m sure the teenage girl moms are feeling the same way about my boy.

Here’s the thing.  I’m a touch me not kind of gal and would really like it if all personal contact came to a screeching halt, especially now.  Just this past Saturday, I was dropping some food off to my teen when I encountered him interacting with his peers.  This sweet young lady was pawning all over my little boy (in my eyes anyway).  The best was how fast she flung herself to the other side of the room when I entered.  The teen hadn’t even noticed I was there yet so I’m not sure how she knew I was the mom but that’s okay because at least it meant she wasn’t touching him anymore. 

Another problem with the teenage girls, the clothes.  Holy smokes ladies, cover that stuff up.  I could really go for shorts that met at the fingertip or long pants (even those that drag the ground because they need to be hemmed).  When I taught, I’m sure my students thought I was the clothing police.   Now that I’m a mom of a boy with hormones and my own hormone problems of turning 40, I could be a whole clothing one woman SWAT team.

So parents of teenage girls, how about some work on modesty.  I’ll work on my son always wearing a shirt in public and showering every day.  If you ever see my teen in public with his underpants hanging out, please communicate that with me immediately.  I’ll be sure to secure some lace to those drawers–after that I’m sure they’ll never see the light of day.

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