What?! Were You Talking to Me?


There is a golden rule at our house.  It goes something like this, as soon as the hair dryer, vacuum, or stand mixer comes on there will be sudden emergency conversations that need to take place.  My children can go a full day (not that they ever have) and not talk to me or need my assistance but with the push of a button I will have all kinds of attention.

In the mornings when I flick on the hair dryer the world will suddenly be coming to an end.  Not that I can hear the world tumbling down but a shaky crying queen will soon be at my side.  Her situation usually has to do with Pop Tarts or her brother smacking her because, he the tween, wants to get in a few licks while the opportunity is there.

The vacuum cleaner drives them all wild.  The teen has suddenly found a new game…he will tell the tween that I yelled for him and he better find me quick.  Not like it should be hard to find me when the vacuum is running.  The tween will appear out of no where looking really scared (this makes me want to prove how powerful my Dyson really is).  I will have to shut it off to find out that his brother thought he was being summoned.  And, he of course wants to take the opportunity to let me know that they can’t hear the TV downstairs…This leads to the teen changing the channel while the tween is in my pursuit which leads to another argument that I can’t hear.  So thankful for the little blessings.

The stand mixer or even the food processor can bring down the house.  Usually, the stand mixer means I’m baking in large quantity and there may be a spoon or a beater to lick.  Huge amounts of conversations can be needed at this time.  My favorite joy is to be making something that requires powder sugar…a little can be thrown into the bowl causing a huge dusty cloud (beware that the dust cloud then involves weeks of cleaning).  The kids think I may be blowing up the mixer and will run like the dickens.  Oh yes, I have a way of finding my own fun.

The ultimate of the this golden rule is my taking a shower.  Moms have to be sneaky when it comes to this because earth shattering events happen while we are in the shower.  In late spring, I assumed the teen had gotten on the bus and headed to school (anyone with a teen knows, parents are no longer welcome at the bus stop after fifth grade).  As I was just rinsing the shampoo from my hair, I think to myself that I hear the teen shouting like crazy, but that can’t be because he should be long gone by now.  It doesn’t take long for the teen to find me because he has missed the bus (or at least he thinks he has).  He decides I should just jump from the shower into the car to taxi him to school.  Long story short, he found an alternative ride to school and wasn’t even late.  He was however a little put out that I couldn’t hear him in the shower. 

It’s a toss-up, the sounds of heavy machinery or the constant sounds of arguing.  Which will you choose?

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