The Week Began in Silence and Ended with a Bang


Because I now live closer to my parents (4.5 hours compared to 18) my children are taking advantage of summer visits!  This past week, the queen had the opportunity to stay with the grandparents.

There is a seven-year span between she and the teen.  Because of the age difference it is almost like having two separate families.  After this past week, I now know there is also a huge difference in the noise level in our house when the queen is gone.

It was so quiet in our house you could actually hear the constant hum of the refrigerator.  That my friends is what I call blessed quietness.  We all enjoyed the drama free week.

Of course all good things must come to an end.  Mine came crashing down Saturday as the teen, tween, and I headed out on the road trip to pick up the queen.  I’m going to share a little something with those of you that don’t have a teen boy–they stink–in a big huge way.  We were actually in the middle of getting in the car when I remember to do a deodorant check (oh the joys of parenthood).  Of course the teen doesn’t think deodorant is necessary but those of us going to be in close vicinity to him require his using it.  Instead of going for the stick, he whips out a can of Old Spice body spray.  Now, we don’t only have teen boy funk we are breathing a cloud of Old Spice (yet another joy of parenthood).  A huge debate pursues regarding the difference in body spray and old fashion deodorant.  Needless to say, I’m the one who won:  came down to either staying at grandma’s for the next two weeks or hanging out at home alone in his own Old Spice cloud.

As I prepare to make the trip back home with the queen and tween we realize the queen has left behind her softee (baby blanket with more hole than fabric).  The left behind blanket calls for massive sobs .  The sounds of her sobbing were so bad a man riding his bike actually got up by the car to ask if we needed help (really I can’t make this stuff up if I wanted to).

I decide that going back to grandma’s to get Softee has to be better than listening to that for another 4.3 hours.  We pull into the drive way and I realize my dad is still home.  I decide to let the queen go in search of the blanket and I’m going to make another trip to the bathroom (at my age there are never enough stops to use the potty).  The queen goes upstairs finds the blanket and I comment that I can’t find my dad when she comes back down.  She assures me he is upstairs in his room.  I figure I should at least let him know we were there and leaving again.  Here is how this conversation went:

Me:  Hey, Dad stopped by to find Softee.  Headed out again.

Dad:  You’re here at the house? (No, Dad I hooked up a transmitter and am talking to you through the light fixture) I looked for Softee and I can’t find it.

Me:  Really?  The queen just was up there and brought it down with her.

Dad:  The queen was up here?

Me:  Yep

Dad:  Really?  No way!  (The queen had entered my parents’ bedroom, retrieved the blanket, and come back downstairs as my dad was getting dressed.  Somehow he never saw her.).

So here we are on week three of only two children in our house.  Not as quiet this week but that’s okay.  I’m sure more stories will materialize.

One response »

  1. Oh Amy! You have missed your calling as a stand up comic! And after spending 10 days with my niece and nephews ages 8, 9, and 10 I feel your pain! We had to do the deodorant check every day too! Boys are just plain stinky and tween girls are a close second. The boys use AXE. Some it smells pretty good.
    To avoid a softee fiasco, we did a pillow, blanket, lovie check before we left home and before we left the hotel. I was not going back on an 11hr drive.
    I have never wanted to change my name so much in all my life. “Aunt Shell, Aunt Shell, Aunt Shell” for 10 days! The first night home, I had dreams of people calling me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s