Trash Bags are Not Created Equal


How do I know trash bags are not created equal?  Just ask my son the teen.  He happens to be 15 but back when he was 7 he could point out the merits of most any plastic waste bag.

You’re probably saying, “Come on, Amy, at seven?  Really?”  You betcha.

When the teen took over the taking out of the trash, Glad had just come out with a new and improved bag.  They advertised this special flexible reinforced bag that could even hold a smashed baby grand.  When you are seven, that is the bomb of all bags.  We just had to have them he said.  Like any other mom, I bought them figuring since he was so excited about his trash job this would just make things better.  Oh how wrong we both were.  Those bags were lucky to hold even a Matchbox car without tearing.

Those special reinforced bags made their way to the back of the cupboard and we happily left them behind when we moved to a different house a few years later.  Hope whomever lives in that house isn’t reading this and now discovering why we left a full box of trash bags.

A few years back we moved again to Rhode Island and lived in a condo type community.  All the trash went to a huge dumpster that was a short walk from our house.  If you’ve ever moved cross-country, you know the last thing you unpack is the stuff you really need…like Hefty trash bags.  We couldn’t find our bags so I picked up whatever at the market and then the trash drama started.  Of course, the teen (who was really a tween then) started out with the trash and it dumped out all over the drive.  The developer just happened to be there and started freaking out about trash being all over the place.  Don’t think he was prepared for the tirade the teen had to share about the bags not being Hefty and so on and so on.  It must have gone on for a while because I finally heard the developer saying something about helping pick it up and let’s just get this mess over with.  After that, I made a mad dash to Target to stop anymore trash issues.

We recently had a family meeting and reworked our family chore obligations.  The teen’s activity schedule is messing with the frequency of trash going out and we thought the tween might like to give it a try.  The tween doesn’t have to worry about the bags.  He seems pretty happy with Hefty but breaking down boxes is a sticking point with him.  Who knew the quiet one would get so freaked out about people not breaking down the boxes?  Look out world we have another lover of trash organization.

To whom do my lovely boys owe the honor of being trash perfectionists?  That would be my dad.  My dad, who has an OCD issue with trash.  He goes so far as to have clean trash (boxes, newspapers, and empty McD’s cups) go in this out in the garage.  The dirty trash is in the kitchen (for food waste and other nastiness that comes from having sometimes five grandchildren visiting at a time).  Of course we all like to chide my dad over the trash situation.  However it really does make good sense and since he is the one who removes it from the house we should probably just follow the plan.

Through it all, we could have bigger problems but I’ll be happy with happy trash taker outers.

3 responses »

  1. I totally remember that Glad commercial with the smashed bits of piano! I thought that equalled the be-all, end-all of garbage bags.

    Recently I bought some Glad kitchen trash bags that were “peppermint-scented.” They were on clearance, probably left over from Christmas or something. My kids hate them — they say they smell like old moth balls. I’m not sure how they know that (I’ve never kept moth balls), but I do agree that they smell nothing like peppermint!

    • I’m glad we aren’t the only people who watch trash bag commercials.

      That’s funny your kids think your scented bags smell like moth balls…just not a smell people connect with anymore.

      • I know, right? I think I even asked them how did they know what mothballs smelled like, and my oldest said he just figured they’d smell like that. Dunno, but it cracks me up.

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